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Recap: The Bachelorette, Season 12, Week 9

August 5, 2016 Leave a Comment

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Two former athletes, one rose remaining. Will JoJo’s journey to find her “unicorn” end in happily ever after? Let’s find out.

JORDAN MEETS THE FLETCHERS
Jordan is the first to meet JoJo’s family. Although Mama Fletcher admires his likability and charm, she refuses to ignore his playboy side. She wonders how he’ll handle other girls throwing themselves at him while he’s committed to her daughter. Jordan says JoJo is his best friend, and he wants to wake up every day making sure she knows that. Soraya makes him promise that he will never break JoJo’s heart.

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Afterward, Soraya worries to JoJo about how alike JoJo and Jordan are, and that could pose problems for their relationship in the future. Of course, JoJo is quick to defend him.

Once alone with JoJo’s dad, Jordan doesn’t ask him for his blessing to marry his daughter, after JoJo specifically told him how important it was that he ask for her dad’s permission. Even worse, he ACKNOWLEDGES THIS.

Also, I find it strange that JoJo’s brothers ripped nice guy Ben to shreds on The Bachelor, but did nothing of the sort to Jordan, the guy who’s been under fire for allegedly cheating on his ex-girlfriend.

ROBBY MEETS THE FLETCHERS
Before heading into the house, Robby expresses excitement over asking JoJo’s dad for his permission to marry JoJo. Score one for Robby.

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Robby instantly hits it off with JoJo’s family. He then goes off about how he first told JoJo he loved her in Uruguay. Just when we thought we heard enough about Uruguay. After this season, I never want to hear the word “Uruguay” ever again.

JoJo asks her brothers their opinion of Robby, and they are without a doubt Team Robby. JoJo wants to make sure of that and asks if Robby has thrown up any red flags, to which the brothers reply, “Nah, homie.” Part of me believes JoJo wishes they didn’t say that, so she’d have a case to pick Jordan over Robby.

Later, Robby asks BOTH of JoJo’s parents for their blessing to marry her. He obviously means business because he uses the name “Joelle” again. Robby doesn’t just want her hand in marriage, he wants all that is “Joelle Hannah Fletcher.” I think JoJo’s parents just fell head-over-heels in love with Robby over his speech. Dr. Fletcher makes it clear with his tears.

FAMILY HUDDLE
Here’s how it played out:

JoJo’s family: We like Jordan, but we love Robby more. He’s the more logical fit for you, and he’s ready for marriage.
JoJo: But what about Jordan?
JoJo’s family: Jordan didn’t ask Dad for his blessing.
JoJo: Are you for real?
JoJo’s brother: You told us you thought Jordan could be the one to break your heart.
JoJo: Forget what I told you. Forget about my heart. Just tell me I should choose Jordan, damnit.
JoJo’s brother: Why are you so quick to defend Jordan?
JoJo: Idk.
JoJo’s brother: Well, I know one’s thing for sure — you’re torn.
YOU DON’T SAY.
JoJo: So basically, you’re all Team Robby?
JoJo’s family: They’re both great but…yeah.
JoJo: Ugh, whatever, I’m getting cheese fries.

FINAL DATE WITH ROBBY 
Robby and JoJo have a chill beach day, a.k.a. another opportunity to show off Robby’s swimmer’s body. Also, how the hell are they making out underwater in SALTWATER without swallowing the water?! I demand answers!!!

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JoJo asks Robby what he thinks their future will look like. He paints a very vivid picture of their soon-to-be family at home, which involves a burning meatloaf and Sauvignon Blanc (not the most ideal combo). I’ll give him a point for effort, though.

At night, JoJo and Robby hang out in Robby’s hotel room, where they look back on how they got to the place they’re at now. Robby surprises JoJo with a series of printed photos of the two of them. Where in Thailand can you even get photos printed?

JoJo: “It hasn’t been until the love that he has for me that I really do realize what I truly deserve and what my worth is…I see a lifetime with him.”
Go on your date with Jordan and then tell us how you really feel.

FINAL DATE WITH JORDAN
Proof that JoJo favors Jordan over Robby: last week, it was a hike to a cave with a sacred temple vs. couples foot massages. This week, it’s cozy canoodling on a ship vs. a low-key picnic on sand.

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JoJo continues to feel anxious about where Jordan stands, which is honestly a great thing to say whilst trying to defend Jordan to your “Team Robby” family. She’s frustrated that Jordan didn’t ask anyone in her family for their blessing, even though she told him to do so.

After kayaking to a private beach, JoJo tells Jordan she’s disappointed in him because she told him how important it was to get her family’s blessing — a moment Jordan claimed he’s been waiting for his whole life. JoJo doesn’t believe Jordan is ready, but Jordan disagrees. He didn’t feel comfortable asking her dad because he doesn’t know where JoJo’s heart lies.

JoJo asks Jordan that if he doesn’t get her parents’ blessing, would it change his decision to propose? Jordan responds with a classic “I don’t know.” He then pulls a complete 180 and says that if it were up to him, he’d 100% get down one knee. Now is not the time to be speaking in tongues, Jordan. Also, last time I checked, JoJo’s parents aren’t dictators. The choice to propose is all yours.

At night, JoJo reiterates her fears to Jordan about his readiness to propose. Jordan says that he will get down on his knee and prove that JoJo will be the one. That’s what that means, and he’s going to do it. It means a lot more than that, but okay.

THE BIG DAY
Robby picks out a ring from Neil Lane and writes JoJo a heartfelt letter about how important she is to him. Jordan decides to call JoJo’s parents and ask for their blessing, even though the gesture is long overdue. Somehow, her parents are all for it, and I’m more confused than ever. Jordan, too, pens a letter to JoJo about FINALLY doing what she asked. Good boy! Now go buy your woman a ring.

The final rose ceremony commences, with Robby being the first to step out of the limo; in other words, he’s a goner. Robby talks about their epic love, but before he can propose, JoJo tearfully stops him.

JoJo: “I can’t let you get down on one knee…I don’t want to take that moment from you.”
Robby: “I see.”
Ugh, I never thought I’d feel this bad for Robby.

JoJo: “Robby, I woke up this morning wanting it to be you. Every day I’ve been wanting it to be you.”
We’ve heard this HOW many times now?

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JoJo says she fell in love with him, but for some reason (I honestly can’t figure it out either) her heart belongs somewhere else. She rambles on about how badly she wanted it to be him, which, at this point, JoJo should know is not prime breakup etiquette. Robby maintains what’s left of his composure and tells JoJo he wants her to be happy. He wishes her luck and implores her not to settle.

JoJo: “I don’t even know if me telling him that I loved him helped, if it mattered.”
Yeah…not really.

JoJo’s sad crying eventually morphs into tears of joy as she realizes Jordan is on his way to her. Jordan and JoJo tell each other how much they love one another, and Jordan proposes to his girl with the most confidence he’s had this entire season. With that, JoJo presents Jordan with the final rose.

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In all seriousness, I truly wish JoJo and Jordan the best of luck and a lifetime of happiness. Next order of business: Luke for Bachelor 2017.

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